professional advice from me to you

i'm no expert, but i feel that in my years in the working world i have learned a few key lessons that this evening i feel the need to impart to my loyal readers. if that lot still only includes lib, rachel and my family then that's just sad.

1. don't shit where you eat. office romance is very rarely a good idea. you never want to pull a bridget jones "i have to leave my current job because i've shagged the boss" number. note to self: don't shag people you work with.
2. don't burn bridges. when you switch jobs, never tell your former employer to go fuck themselves no matter how much you might want to. you never know a) who will end up being your boss one day, b) if your former employer and future employer have ties of some kind and c)...can't really think of another reason. just be nice. gracefully resign, serve your two weeks and move on to greener pastures.
3. steer clear of office politics. yes, all offices have some sort of politics going on, but it's best to stay out of it. just do your job well and get out the door. if you let the bullshit get to you, you'll wind up washed up and bitter at 27. no, not me. i'm not bitter.
4. stay out of the gossip chain. if, at your company's annual holiday party, you're the girl that gets wasted and engages in some sort of lewd behavior, i'm telling you right now that you WILL be passed over come promotion time. rules of thumb: 3 drink maximum at office functions, don't show too much skin, keep your knees together and see #1 above.
5. make friends with the right people. you can only self-promote so much. if the right people notice what a stellar job you're doing, hopefully they'll drop your name and you'll eventually get recognized. you get my drift.
6. become really good at at least one thing. if you prove yourself indispensible in one area, you'll impress people and maybe save yourself if your employer ever goes through layoffs.
7. all they can say is no. por ejemplo: if you think you deserve more money, just ask. well, make a good case (i.e. bring written examples of how much you rock) and make your boss believe deep down that giving you $50K more a year is the right thing to do...right. but i digress. the worst that can happen is that you get turned down. at the very least, your boss will know you are unsatisfied with your current salary level and may be looking around for a new job. always good to subtly strike fear in the heart of your boss.
8. update your resume every 3 months. never be afraid to get it out there even if you're not ready for a new job. you never know what could turn up. if nothing else, you could get another job offer, wave it in your current employer's face and demand more dough. never done it personally, but if you have please let me know how it panned out.
9. don't be a brown-noser. people can smell a kiss-ass from a mile away. be yourself, people, and if you don't suck at life you'll do just fine.
10. nobody likes a workaholic. work to live and don't live to work. otherwise you'll wake up at 45 and, yeah, you might have $1 million in the bank but you'll be really unhappy. unless you like that sort of thing which means you clearly aren't my friend and aren't reading my crappy little blog.
11. don't be an asshole. just because you might be in a position of power doesn't mean you can treat people like shit. karma's a bitch and will definitely bite you in the ass one day.
12. always wear a suit to an interview. advertising can be pretty casual, but you always want to come across as a professional in an interview, so resist the urge to dress down. cliche or not, it's so true: you never get a second chance to make a first impression.
13. use spellcheck. seems like a no-brainer, but you'd be surprised how many people don't spellcheck emails before they send them out. ridiculous. *note: blogspot.com does not have a spellcheck option.
14. have a firm grasp of written english. every professional has to write a ton of emails, presentations, memos, etc. you can't do that if you're not a decent writer. know how to differentiate between causal and professional writing. i'll give you a hint. this here blog ain't the professional kind.
15. ask good questions. be it in an interview, in a q&a session at a conference or at the end of an internal meeting. ask questions to enhance your own understanding, ask questions to let people around you know that your wheels are turning, whatever. just ask questions.

these are the basics that i live by. i'd love to hear some of yours!